Newsgroups: alt.suicide.holiday
From: DyingChild_65
Date: Sun, 09 Dec 2007 09:33:47 -0700
Local: Sun, Dec 9 2007 8:33 am
Subject: Christian America.....this is YOUR Columbine
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I am DyingChild_65
I am also a member of the (C) O.T.O. Adastra Oasis...their main
meetings/HQ here in Denver is at 435 S Downing St. Denver, CO
(303-777-0118).
I was raised in the the teachings of C. Peter Wagner, Bill Gothard,
Charismatic and Pentecostal movements and all that other bullshit.
Homeschooled for about 11-12 years. I was a staff member of Kings Kids
Denver, Ronny Morris is the director there. I was also put through a
YWAM Denver "DTS" school....both those places rejected me and wouldn't
let me be a missionary because.......I was "too shy"(translation:not
popular enough, a Nobody)
Me I've heard all the sermons on salvation and shit...I've looked
everywhere for spiritual truth....all I found in christianity was
hate, abuse(sexual, physical, psychological, and emotional),
hypocrisy, and lies....I'm just one of the Noodies who just wants to
be loved and accepted somewhere......I just want to be one of the
somebodies

Joyce Meyer, Peter Wagner, Ted Haggard, Jimmy Bakker, Jerry Falwell,
godhatesfags.org, Richard/Oral Roberts, James Dobson, John Bevere,
Tommy Tenny, Cindy Jacobs, Earl Paulk, Ken Ham, Heidi Baker/Iris
Ministries, John MacArthur, David Wilkerson, Paula White, Dave
Hunt/Berean Call, Kenneth Hagin, David Yonggi Cho, Charles Stanley, D
James Kennedy, Jan and Paul Crouch, Dutch Sheets, Benny Hinn, Paul
Cain, Tim Lahaye and all the Left Behind end times "Jesus is returning
soon!" bullshit, Chuck Pierce, Stan Johnson/Prophecy Club, Gary Ezzo,
Bill Gothard....and all the other televangelists and pastors, and
christian followers......

We see all these christians trying to force their beliefs,
pseudo-morality and bulls*** on everyone(usually for money and power),
telling everyone they need to "repent, send us money, and obey our
interpretations of the bible" so they can be let into heaven, have
their imaginary sins "forgiven" and not be sent to hell by their
"loving" pseudo-God.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LdpuDuSWQPc

Tell me, just like Marilyn Manson asks.....do you really want to go to
a place that's filled with a bunch of.... assholes?

Sorry but there's no such thing as heaven and hell nor "original sin."
Christians can't even figure out their own doctrines....they're still
arguing over whether or not you can lose your "salvation" or not.
Christians can't even agree on whether or not Christian Contemporary
Music is a sin or whether or not to "speak in tongues"
plus......there's a gazillion different versions of how Jesus is going
to return and whether there's even a rapture or not.........

The worst slave of all is the prick who indulges openly in no
pleasures at all in order that he may be considered "virtuous" or
"respectable" and these Christians who "have religion"/"a relationship
with God" and want to see every one else in the same deplorable state
of senile decay so that they may not feel quite so much out of place
in the world.......

These are fools that men adore; both their Gods & their men are fools.
Come forth, o children, under the stars, & take your fill of love!
I am the Snake that giveth Knowledge and Delight and bright glory, and
stir the hearts of men with drunkenness. To worship me take wine and
strange drugs whereof I will tell my prophet, & be drunk thereof! They
shall not harm ye at all. It is a lie, this folly against self. The
exposure of innocence is a lie. Be strong, o man! lust, enjoy all
things of sense and rapture: fear not that any God shall deny thee for
this.
Despise also all cowards; professional soldiers who dare not fight,
but play; all fools despise!
But the keen and the proud, the royal and the lofty; ye are brothers!

The key of joy is disobedience

Why care about a world that doesn't care about me anyways? And why go
on living in a world that doesn't want me?

Caring never felt so lame inside. There's just no answers.

Everyone has the same unoriginal s*** to say:
"Have you seen a therapist?" "Have you tried medications?"
"Have you tried thinking positive happy thoughts about the world?"
"Maybe you should try counseling?" "Maybe you should try to just not
be this way" "Just try taking one day at a time work towards your
degree in college" "Don't worry, it will all get better"

Guess what? Believe it or not.....I'VE TRIED ALL THAT
People then usually assume that I only tried prozac(or some other
drug) for two days and got upset that it didn't "work" and they say
"oh well, you need to give it more than a couple of days to work"....I
don't know how 8 months is only a few days...but maybe you f***ers who
can only come up with lame ass answers need a good ass kicking
These lamers will also say "well maybe try a different therapist?" or
"just.......keep trying"

Yeah....that's right, this nightmare terrifies you crack addicts,
other people claiming to be depressed, all you people who think you're
so depressed over some stupid divorce......you people tell me yourself
you're terrified of this kind of depression and of this nightmare. No
one has any answers. I've talked to lots of people about this, and
they first say "oh well....you couldn't possibly know about REAL
depression.....I've been through alcohol and drug addiction, and
recently a divorce, my parents kicked me out at age 15, I can't go to
college because I don't have money and I have kids to
support........etc.....etc......." and then they always say "but I
know it's always going to get better and that I have a lot to live
for"

Well @#%$.....you're in much better shape and have a lot more hope
than I have...... and then I'll tell them "I'm not sure if this is
REAL depression....but here's what I'm dealing with and how I'm
feeling......"
The response so far is always the same. The person who claimed to have
it so much worse than me, is suddenly shaken, and *tranced* out and
given a glimpse of The Nightmare that me and my friends have grown up
in. This person who first said "oh no honey, not to discount what
you're going through but I'm dealing with some dark depressing things
a young person like you doesn't understand" is now telling me in a
quivering voice...."uh.....that's......pretty dark writing.....and
creative too...uh.....have you thought of counsling?" I said "well
yeah, didn't really change anything" "well I don't really want to hear
about depressing things and..." "But I thought you said you were
really depressed?" "yeah...but...honey...I don't know what to tell you
about....lets just change the subject"

Sorry but this isn't some pity story of where someone got touched in
the wrong place once or twice or where some girl got raped only
twice....this is The Nightmare that just goes on and on and me some of
my church friends just cannot even fully remember what all happened,
much less understand why......

This is also the downward spiral here....no one has any real answers,
only lame answers and fear of what me and my friends grew up in, and
fear of the depressing aftermath.
On the positive side, that fact that we've survived this long means
we're a LOT stronger than most people, especially these lamers who are
terrified of my poetry. We're stronger than these pentecostal Youth
With A Mission assholes who said "you can't be writing down your
feelings, especially not about depression." We've proven that we're a
lot stronger than these sick bastards in the charismatic and
pentecostal movement.

Well all you people out there can just kiss my ass and die. From now
on I don't give a fuck about what all you mutha fuckers have to say,
unless I respect you which is highly unlikely, but for those of you
who do happen to know me and know that I respect you, may peace be
with you and don't be in my line of fire, for the rest of you, you all
better fucking hide in your houses because I'm coming for EVERYONE
soon, and I WILL be armed to the fucking teeth, and I WILL shoot to
kill and I WILL fucking KILL EVERYTHING! No I am not crazy, crazy is
just a word, to me it has no meaning, everyone is different, but most
of you fuck heads out there in society, going to your everyday fucking
jobs and doing your everyday routine shitty things, I say fuck you and
die, if you got a problem with my thoughts, come to me and I'll kill
you, because........God damnit, DEAD PEOPLE DON'T ARGUE! My belief is
that if I say something, it goes. I am the law. If you don't like it,
you die. If I don't like you or I don't like what you want me to do,
then you die. If I do something incorrect, oh fucking well, you die.
Dead people can't do many things, like argue, whine, bitch, complain,
name, rat out, criticize, or even fucking talk. So that's the only way
to solve arguments with all you fuckheads out there, I just kill. God
I can't wait till I can kill you people, I'll just go to some downtown
area in some big city and blow up and shoot everything I can.

Mankind in his insatiable search for divine
Knowledge has discarded all biblical teachings
Realizing that the strength of religion is the repression of
knowledge
All structures of religion have collapsed
Life prays for death
in the wake of the horror of these revelations
It was never imagined how graphic the reality that would
be known as the end of creation would manifest itself
We believe all this chaos and atrocity can be traced
Back to one single event.....

We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have I realized
God Hates Us All!!!!!!

Drones since the dawn of time
Compelled to live your christian sheltered lives
Not once has anyone ever seen
Such a rise of pure hypocracy
I'll instigate I'll free your mind
I'll show you what I've known all this time

God Hates Us All!!!!! God Hates Us All!!!!
You know it's true God hates this place
You know it's true he hates this race

Homicide.......Suicide
Hate heals, you should try it sometime
Strive for Peace with acts of war
The beauty of death we all adore
I have no faith distracting me
I know why your prayers will never be answered

God Hates Us All; God Hates Us All
He Fuckin' hates me
Pessimist, Terrorist targeting the next mark
Global chaos feeding on hysteria
Cut throat, slit your wrist, shoot you in the back fair game
Drug abuse, self abuse searching for the next high
Sounds a lot like hell is spreading all the time
I'm waiting for the day the whole world @#%$ dies

I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow!!!!!1

Man made virus infecting the world....
Self-destruct human time bomb
What if there is no God would you think the fuckin' same
Wasting your life in a leap of blind faith
Wake the @#%$ up can't ignore what I say
I got my own philosophy
I hate everyone equally
You can't tear that out of me
No segregation -separation
Just me in my world of enemies
I never said I wanted to be God's disciple
I'll never be the one to blindly follow
I'll never be the one to bear the cross-disciple

I reject this f***in' race!!!!!
I despise this f***in' place!!!!!!